Intimacy is a crucial part of any healthy, fulfilling relationship and goes beyond what happens in the bedroom. Whether you’re looking to reconnect with a long-term lover or discover more about a new partner, here are three ways to boost intimacy in your relationship.

Learn your love languages

This is an idea that can best be explained by relationship coach Jo Barnet, who said “I meet clients who say, ‘I don’t understand, I come home every day with a bunch of flowers, I tidy the house, and yet still we feel distant.’ But their partner’s love language might be words of affirmation, so of course, they’re lacking that intimacy. They’re not aware of a major part of one another.” In short, listen to how your partner expresses affection – either verbally, with gifts, or deeds of service – and try to respond in the same way. Then they can do the same for you. 

Try a little more touching

Touch is an essential part of bonding in a relationship. It invites intimacy through a physical connection, but touching your other half doesn’t have to be reserved for between the sheets. For sex and intimacy coach Camilla Constance, massage is the perfect way to create intimacy outside the bedroom. Jo also heralds the power of fleeting touches throughout the day like a simple hug goodbye.

Discover everyday intimacy 

Between work and family duties, you may feel that your packed schedules make fitting in quality time with your partner near impossible. Don’t give in to this mindset. Instead, what you should do is carve out moments of intimacy in the mundane. Camilla recommends doing this through ‘reconnection rituals’. This could involve simply cooking dinner or doing chores together. Whatever it is, these little reconnection rituals allow couples to create a sanctum together, away from the stresses and responsibilities of the outside world.