Today’s Solutions: September 25, 2022

It’s inevitable that you will fight in a relationship. A conflict is an interaction between two people who care, and some psychologists would say that the relationships with no conflict are the ones whose flame has died out. 

While it is unavoidable, conflict in a relationship doesn’t need to be harmful. In fact, it can be productive, healing, and help the relationship. As Dr. Kimerer L. LaMoathe put it in Psychology Today, “An argument is not over until we’re grateful it happened.”

Here are some tips to healthily argue with your partner and maybe improve the relationship. 

Be honest with your partner

While it sounds obvious, it can be harder than you think to be honest with your partner about what you need or how you feel your needs aren’t being addressed. It can even be hard to be honest with yourself, but if both of you don’t know the real reason that you’re upset you’ll fail the fight before you start. 

Enter the fight in good faith and compassion 

Understand that your partner has reasons and concerns like you, and being on this equal footing you should approach an argument with empathy. You don’t want to be attacked, so do not attack or lash out as this has never happily ended a fight. 

Set rules for the fight

Hey, it works for boxing, but some experts find that rules like a set time for a discussion can give you both time to think and prepare what to say so that you’re not reactionary or defensive when the time comes for a discussion. It’s important that you both feel safe. Another rule might be that you allow for a time-out in a fight. 

Be flexible and leave room for your partner to be flexible

You should very much be willing to compromise for your partner. You can be completely right and still need to listen and address your partner’s needs. That being said, you should give them a clear solution-based place to go to satisfy your concerns. This ties into the next recommendation of…

Request, don’t complain 

Don’t offer problems without a solution. “I hate that you never do the dishes!” should instead be, “Would you please do the dishes?” A difference in phrasing can make your partner feel included and will go a long way in getting what you feel you need because you’ve actually asked for it. 

Solutions News Source Print this article
More of Today's Solutions

What you need to do to make your office more sustainable

Chances are it takes quite a lot of resources to keep your office running. Think about it. The office needs lighting and heat, the ...

Read More

These little tweaks will help you maintain a healthy lifestyle

While it may not be so hard to start living a healthier lifestyle, maintaining one can be very challenging. Having said this, here are ...

Read More

How this city in Illinois plans to stop homelessness by the end of the year

Less than a decade ago, more than 700 people were homeless in the small, 150,000 person city of Rockford, Illinois, about 90 miles northwest ...

Read More

5 ways to boost your microbiome this summer

There's no debating the importance of a healthy gut for overall well-being—and now, more than ever, staying in optimal health is top of mind ...

Read More