BY THE OPTIMSIT DAILY EDITORIAL TEAM

With self-help and positivity being constantly promoted around us, it is fair to say our world is obsessed with happiness. While happiness certainly feels great, the goal to strive only towards happiness is unrealistic and can certainly leave us disappointed. We are commonly told “it’s all about our mindset” or we should “seize the day and live in the moment,” but this may be avoidant towards experiencing the full spectrum of complex human emotions as part of the human experience.

An evolutionary phenomenon

Humans are evolutionarily hardwired to look towards the past and to the future, which has given our species the learning and planning skills through our emotions to get to where we are today. For example, regret is an incredible mechanism we have to learn from our mistakes and avoid repeating them in the future. Worry can also motivate us to change our future situation and spare us greater loss.

Several research papers have shown that negative emotions can protect us from being abused by others, solidify boundaries, and encourage people to respect our interests. For instance, anger is a helpful emotion when it comes to negotiations. In general, negative emotions can make us less gullible and more skeptical, which will lead to more well-thought-out decisions. Ignoring these valuable emotions is also linked to having overconfidence, believing we are better than others, and causing issues in relationships.

Accepting we don’t have full control

Nonetheless, our excessive focus on positive psychology implies we have full control over our emotions. If we can accept that this is not the case, it could actually do wonders for our mental health. Furthermore, some argue that the tactic of focusing only on the positive has been swept up and promoted by capitalist corporations and politicians to shift the responsibility of suffering onto ourselves, rather than real-life failed mental health and socio-economic systems.

It is important to remind ourselves that not being able to fulfill the goal of happiness is okay, and having this unachievable target only leads to added self-blame and frustration. There are so many other valuable emotions besides happiness, even if they are typically considered negative. Accepting all of our emotions will help us all keep grounded in this journey of life. American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson sums this fact up perfectly: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”