BY THE OPTIMIST DAILY EDITORIAL TEAM
In today’s world, being “average” can feel like a subtle failure. From grade school gold stars to social media highlight reels, the cultural script suggests that to matter, we must shine. Success is measured not just by achievement, but by applause. And if you’re not optimizing, striving, or self-actualizing before breakfast, are you even trying?
But as psychologist and author Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., reminds us, this constant push for extraordinary can come at a cost. “We’ve created a culture where being ordinary is seen as something to overcome,” he observes. “But maybe it’s something to celebrate.”
The expectation creep starts early. Kids are expected to be high achievers from the start, with packed schedules and pressure to excel. By the time they reach adulthood, burnout often replaces enthusiasm. Add social media’s curated perfection into the mix, and it’s easy to feel like simply showing up isn’t enough.
What if average is enough?
Goldstein invites us to reconsider: what if the life you have is not something to optimize, but something to inhabit? In a world chasing viral moments and visionary legacies, there’s quiet power in being dependable, kind, and present.
“Being average doesn’t mean you lack ambition,” he writes. “It means you value the here and now. It means you recognize that being a decent human being, every day, matters more than being dazzling once.”
You don’t need a memoir deal or a side hustle empire to live a good life. You can be a great friend. A reliable coworker. A person who remembers birthdays and makes strong coffee. These aren’t headline-worthy moments but they are the backbone of human connection.
The dignity of the day-to-day
Look around, and you’ll see ordinary people holding up the world: teachers, caregivers, bus drivers, sanitation workers, nurses. Their names may not be trending, but their contributions are invaluable.
Goldstein points out, “When we glorify only the exceptional, we overlook the very people who keep our society functional and compassionate.”
There’s a certain beauty in repetition and in doing what needs to be done, even when no one is watching. Folding laundry. Showing up to work. Listening to a friend. These moments may not earn awards, but they build a life worth living.
Rewriting what success really means
The pursuit of greatness can quickly turn toxic. Perfectionism often leads to paralysis, and comparison can turn self-worth into a moving target. The truth? We can’t all be above average. Statistically, that’s… not how math works.
But we can be fully human. And that’s no small thing.
A meaningful life doesn’t demand a spotlight. It welcomes presence over prestige, kindness over clout. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow or improve,” Goldstein notes, “but if you believe you’re only worthy when you’re winning, you’ll miss the joy that comes from simply being.”
Maybe a “successful” life is one where your dog is happy to see you, your friends feel safe with you, and your home has laughter (and occasionally, mismatched socks).
Let’s stop glorifying burnout. Let’s start celebrating contentment.
In the end, we don’t need to be exceptional to live meaningfully. We need connection. Purpose. Humor. Rest. A little compassion for ourselves and others. As Goldstein gently reminds us: the good life isn’t built on applause. It’s built on presence.
And if all else fails? Make the coffee strong and the bed softer. You’re doing just fine.
