BY THE OPTIMIST DAILY EDITORIAL TEAM
Ask any organization whether they invest in coaching, and you’ll almost certainly get a yes. It’s a stated priority, a line item in leadership development budgets, a topic in management training. And yet, when researchers go to measure how managers perform across a range of their responsibilities, coaching keeps landing at the bottom.
A Gallup study of managers assessed across 20 leadership responsibilities found that coaching-related behaviors were the area both managers and direct reports identified as most in need of improvement. A separate analysis drawing on 12 years of 360-degree assessments from more than 1,700 leaders found the same thing: out of everything leaders were rated on, coaching came in last.
The gap between what organizations say and what the numbers show is hard to miss. So what’s happening?
The definition might be the problem
For most managers, coaching can simply fit into a calendar appointment. It’s an action that’s wrapped up into the weekly one-on-one or an annual review. Coaching is included in a structured conversation that’s been scheduled in advance and has a clear beginning and end. That framing turns coaching into a distinct, high-stakes event. It becomes something that requires preparation, emotional energy, and time, so of course the result is that it feels like a burden.
But that version of coaching may not be where most real development happens anyway. Organizational researchers have been looking more closely at what they call in-the-moment coaching, the idea that the most effective feedback arrives inside ordinary workday interactions, not in scheduled sessions designed around it. It can be as simple as a quick comment after a difficult meeting, or a meaningful question over coffee. Catching someone right after a win or a stumble, when the experience is still fresh, can be more impactful than a scheduled meeting. These interactions are brief and low-pressure, and they tend to stick because the person receiving them is still inside the moment.
Noticing what’s already there
The shift this requires isn’t about finding more time but about paying a different kind of attention. Coaching moments don’t wait for the right time. They show up when something unexpected happens, when someone asks for help, or when things go sideways. The instinct is to step over these moments, fix them fast, and move on. But each one is also a chance to slow down and ask: what would be useful to say right now?
Catching small wins matters just as much as pointing out areas for improvement. Naming what was successful, even briefly, reinforces the behavior and builds the kind of trust that makes harder conversations less charged later.
Questions do more than answers
A common mistake managers make is to assume coaching means having the right answer ready. When someone comes with a problem, the reflex is to solve it.
That reflex is hard to shake, and it’s not entirely wrong; managers often do have relevant experience. But handing over the solution skips the development part. It also puts the manager in an impossible position as teams grow and work keeps changing; no one can stay an expert in everything.
Open-ended questions move the current of the conversation differently. “What are you learning from this?” or “What options are you weighing?” shifts the thinking back to the person who has to do the work, and usually gets somewhere better than the manager’s answer would have.
The ratio that changes how it feels
Research on high-performing teams has identified something useful here: they tend to operate at roughly a six-to-one praise-to-criticism ratio. Six positive exchanges for every critical one.
That’s not a mandate for empty affirmation. It’s a reminder that noticing what’s working should happen far more often than pointing out what isn’t, and that the balance in most teams probably tilts the wrong way.
One side effect worth knowing: giving genuine, specific compliments improves the mood of the person delivering them. When coaching starts to feel like something that goes both ways, it’s easier to keep doing.
The real obstacle
The obstacle isn’t really skill. Most managers already know how to give feedback, ask a question, or say something encouraging. What gets in the way is the belief that coaching is its own separate activity, something that requires a meeting, a framework, or a designated slot in the agenda.
The alternative is treating it as a habit, something woven into how the day already runs.
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