Episode Description:

This episode is dedicated to Badan Kanwar.

 In the early 1990s, a woman named Badan Kanwar was widowed in Rajasthan, India. Her world shrank the way it does for widows there — she lost status, voice, and belonging. Her son, Govind Singh Rathore, watched. Years later, he founded Sambhali Trust in Jodhpur: an organization providing education, vocational training, legal support, and safe spaces to women, girls, and gender minorities pushed to the margins. He started by inviting one woman’s two daughters to come learn with him. The next day, 18 women showed up. Today, Sambhali Trust has reached roughly 80,000 people across Rajasthan.

In this special International Women’s Day episode, we tell the story of Sambhali Trust through four voices:

  – Govind Singh Rathore, Founder of Sambhali Trust, on the grief that became a movement

  – Shereen Arent, President of Sambhali US, on how she stumbled into this work and couldn’t walk away

  – Rajshree Rathore, Head of Education at Sambhali Trust, who joined as a college student-tutor and now leads the programs she once taught in

  – Monica, Sambhali’s first-cohort graduate (2007) and now central staff — on going from the girl who always sat in the back to someone the whole community calls when they need help

This is a story about what happens when you give people closest to a problem the resources to solve it themselves. It’s about the domino effect of doing one good thing.

And it’s about how change doesn’t always take a generation — sometimes it happens faster than anyone expected.

Note: This episode contains mentions of domestic violence. Nothing graphic.

If you have questions, comments, feedback, suggestions, or just want to say hi, send a message to: podcast@optimistdaily.com.

 Support Sambhali:

  – Donate, volunteer, or sign up for the newsletter: https://www.sambhalius.org

  – Contact Shereen directly: info@sambhalius.org

  – Sambhali Trust (India): https://www.sambhali.org

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Transcript:

Arielle (narrator) 

Hello Optimists, it’s Arielle here. Welcome to a very special episode of the Optimist Daily Weekly Roundup. 

Karissa mentioned last week that we’d be bringing other voices onto the pod, and today we’re doing that for the first time in celebration of International Women’s Day, which is this Sunday, March 8th. 

Here’s something I want you to hold in mind as you listen today. Across the world—including in the places we’ll be visiting in this episode—women and girls are regularly prevented from accessing education, financial independence, and basic freedoms. Not because of anything they’ve done. Not because of any lack of ability or desire. Simply because they were born female. 

The organization at the center of today’s episode, Sambhali Trust, started as one man’s response to exactly that. He invited one woman’s two daughters to come learn with him. The next day, 18 women showed up. Today, Sambhali Trust has reached roughly 80,000 women, girls, and gender minorities across Rajasthan, India.  

That kind of growth doesn’t come from a strategic plan. It comes from listening to what people actually need, and trusting that the people closest to a problem know best how to solve it. 

That’s the story we’re telling today. And I want to flag something you’ll hear along the way: the women and girls Sambhali serves aren’t waiting for the next generation to feel the impact. They’re already becoming role models for the girls coming up behind the —in real time. But more on that as we go. 

What you’re about to hear are four voices, each one a different thread in the same story. Govind, the founder, who built something good from grief. Shereen Arent, a lawyer who found Sambhali Trust on the internet one afternoon and couldn’t walk away. She’s now the president of Sambhali US.  

Rajshree Rathore, no relation to Govind, who joined Sambhali as a tutor while in college herself and now leads the education programs she once taught in.  

And Monica, who joined in 2007 as a shy, quiet girl who always sat in the back of every room. 

I know it’s a long one today, but stay with us to the end! And we’ll tell you exactly how to find and support Sambhali’s work, including why right now is a particularly urgent moment to do so. And as a heads up, there are some mentions of domestic violence in today’s conversations, but nothing graphic.  

In just a second, you’ll be hearing the origin story of Sambhali Trust straight from Govind himself. 

Shereen 

Govind, you’re ready?  

Govind 

Yes.  

Shereen 

Okay. 

Govind 

Thank you. Hello?  

Arielle 

Oh, hello. There you are. Sorry, I thought I could…  

Arielle (narrator) 

But before we jump into it, we want to take a moment to dedicate this episode to Badan Kanwar, who recently passed away.  

Badan was a radiant, resilient woman in Rajasthan, India, who spent much of her life being told she was less than, incomplete, and inauspicious. She lost her husband young and watched her world shrink around her the way it does for widows in certain parts of rural India, where the death of your husband isn’t the only loss a woman suffers. It also means the loss of your voice and your status within the community. 

Govind 

Thank you for giving us this amazing opportunity. And I already apologize in advance if things might not sound very great as you already know the time we are going through. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Badan Kanwar was Govind’s mother.  

Arielle: 

Govind, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. I know that it’s a really difficult time for you, so I’m extra grateful that you’ve taken the effort to speak with me. 

Govind 

This opportunity is very important for all of us here at Sambari Trust in India. So hopefully, with your help, we will be able to reach more people out there. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Bearing witness to the realities and injustices she endured inspired him to provide education, vocational training, and support to the disenfranchised women and girls in his community.  

Her legacy lives on through every little girl, family, and community that is empowered by Sambhali Trust, and it is a privilege to commemorate her today.  

We begin this series of conversations with Govind on the morning the first seeds of Sambhali Trust were planted. Govind was only 15 years old when his father died, and the trajectory of his life was changed forever. 

Govind 

That one morning, I heard my mother’s scream saying, “My God is gone.”  

This pain in that voice that just not woke my brother and I up to run from our bedroom to our parents, but also brought in our neighbors. So, we ran and saw that my dad was sleeping and that his body was not moving and my mother was not controllable. We all ran and took him to the hospital, and I just saw my mother’s brother walk back with my father’s rings and his chain that he used to wear around his neck, saying that it’s too late. Things changed for me forever because I had to quit school, being the older son of the family. And I was to take the full responsibility as the man. 

Arielle 

It sounds like quite a big obligation to put on the shoulders of such a young boy, only 15 years old. 

Govind 

Plus, now my mother was an incomplete, inauspicious woman. There was a total different shift in her life from being a married woman in a pretty prominent family to now become a young widow who would now be segregated from the family for the rest of her life, being incomplete, until I got married and I brought in my bride, who would then take the responsibilities forward. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Since his father’s death, Govind worked alongside his mother to maintain the household. 

Govind 

You know, I was very much involved with my mother in day-to-day life of our family’s household. So, I learned a lot from my mother, how to cook and even how to look after people. She was a very generous and hospitable woman who was always standing with people. Even if she had nothing, no one who came to our house went empty-handed. My grandmother and my mother would always serve to them. They fed them, took care of them. People slept over. They went to hospitals with them. They just made sure their children were taken care of. So, they had always broken barriers and boundaries to help people all the time. And hearing the stories of women who came in and shared with my mother, some of my personal memories of childhood is violence. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Govind realized that strong, resilient, and capable women like his mother were prevented from living freely. from reaching their full potential. Instead, the women and girls in his local community were being oppressed and disrespected on a daily basis, simply because they were born female. With this understanding, Govind was determined to help in any way he could. 

Govind 

So, I asked, is there something I can do with the little education I have? 

Arielle (narrator) 

He decided to start close to home. 

Govind 

The lady who come to our home to help my mother I asked her if she could bring both her daughters over and we could help them with maybe reading and writing a bit. And the next day when she came, she came with around 18 women. This was September of 2006. And I knew local artists in my city. So, I asked them if they could come and help me teach these girls. Already in three, four months, the word spread that I was doing this totally free of cost. So my friends came into my life and said, “Look, Govind, we see you can help so many more people who are sailing in the same boat like your mother and you and your brother. Why don’t you set up a charity? We’ll be able to help you take the entire thing forward.” So, I said, fine, we’ll do that. I set up a charity and here we are today.  

When people speak about Sambhali, I tell them the gate to Sambhali leads from sleeping under the bed of my parents, because that’s where I used to hide myself when I was a kid to sometimes rescue my mother from violence, domestic abuse, and so forth.  

Her blood and tears are something that I remember from the times I started thinking that this isn’t right. Sambhali stands on the sacrifices of my mother and my granny and many, many women. 

Arielle 

Govind, you’ve done incredible work, inspired in many ways through your mother and your grandmother. What do you most want people to know about her after listening to the episode? 

Govind 

My mother was a warrior. She never gave up. She never stopped dreaming. She never bowed down in front of evil. She never bowed down in front of injustice. My mother was a beautiful woman; she loved art. She was so graceful when she danced.  

I’m grateful to my mother. Had she not gone through what she had been through, this organization, starting with 18 women, would not have reached more than 78,000 women and children. and people of gender minority community, because for my mother, it was very important that everybody from all different directions of life were taken care of and were helped. No matter who you were, where you were, where you came from, what caste, color, religion, there was no discrimination of any kind.  

What we are doing, we don’t know how successful it will be in years to come, but for sure, how my mother made her mark on us, we all can leave that on our children or on our successors. And it’s baby steps that it takes. And it can start from home. If it can start from home here in the desert, it can start at anybody’s home. We should not stop giving back to the society. We should not stop encouraging others. This is very, very important. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Thousands of miles away, a lawyer named Shereen Arent in the United States was about to stumble into Govind’s life and be moved to join his mission entirely by chance. 

Arielle 

How are you doing today? 

Shereen 

I’m okay. How are you? 

Arielle 

I’m doing all right. Spring weather is coming to Amsterdam… (fades out) 

Arielle (narrator) 

Shereen, the president of Sambhali U.S., spoke with us from Jodhpur, India, about the impact Sambhali Trust has had in her life. She also goes deeper into how this community-centered, community-led organization makes their decisions.  

She shares with us real, personal stories of girls, women, and families who have been empowered through the programs Sambhali Trust offers.  

Arielle 

(fades in) …Just going to jump into it. I want to understand how you came to the Sambhali Trust yourself. Could you take us back in time to the moment you decided to travel all the way to India to take on a volunteer position? Where was your head at and what was happening in your life that led you to make that choice? 

Shereen 

Well, it goes back a little earlier to 2017. My background is as a lawyer doing discrimination work and civil rights and health policy. And I had decided for the first, probably only time in my life to not know what I was going to do next. So, I did my four months’ notice and was trying to sort of figure out what came next. And a friend of mine said, where have you always wanted to go top of your list that your partner doesn’t want to go to? And apparently, we both said India.  

So, we traveled there. And I had been involved with an organization in the States that funded grassroots organizations supporting marginalized women and girls in developing countries. And so had an interest in learning more about what was happening in India.  

My friend was transitioning to doing ceramics. And so, she was going to find the best ceramics places, and she was doing such a good job that I felt the need to step it up and found Sambhali Trust, really on the internet.  

And when I came here, my friend Jan and I, just for a couple of hours, it just stood out by how special this place was and how it responded to the community in which it worked and how it had grown in response to the needs.  

So, I packed that away… and I just… It’s problematic to visit places because you take up people’s time. And had it been the Indian way to ask me for a donation, I probably would have done a donation and gone on my merry way, but that’s really not the Indian way. So afterwards, I wanted to at least do something to make up for the generosity of time that people had shown my friend and I, and ended up in a back and forth with the founder, Govind Rathore.  

He had not been there the day I was there, and we just got to know each other through e-mail. And no one was more surprised than me when later on that year I decided that I would come here to volunteer for two months. So, it was something that was in a life that had very much been planned, delightfully not planned. 

Arielle 

For listeners who are hearing about Sambhali Trust and Sambhali US for the first time, could you tell us about Sambhali Trust’s mission and also help us understand the distinction between Sambhali Trust and Sambhali US? 

Shereen 

So Sambhali Trust is an NGO registered in India since 2007. The word Sambhali means strengthening of the deprived.  

And it is a community-based nonprofit working to strengthen vulnerable communities through training, education, health support, and livelihood initiatives. And it works with women, youth, and gender minorities in Rajasthan and marginalized communities.  

And it’s very much based on an organization that is run by people who understand the community because they’re from the community. What Sambhali U.S. is a 501(c)(3) in the U.S. that supports that work in a number of ways.  

Number one, to tell the stories of the people who are in Sambhali programs to a U.S. audience to raise volunteers. We’re an all-volunteer organization in the US, both to help us do our work and to come to India and do work here and to raise funds for Sambhali Trust. We currently fund about half of Sambhali Trust’s core programs.  

The other thing we do is provide technical support to Sambhali Trust when asked. This is a community run by the community, so we don’t provide solutions. We know we don’t have the solutions, but when we have some expertise and it’s asked for, we provide that help as well. We interact as partners, and from our side, with great respect for the people who are doing this work here, and here because I’m talking to you from Jodhpur. 

Arielle 

2019 was also the year that Sambhali US was founded. So, during that volunteer trip, you already mentioned that you were blown away by how holistic Sambhali Trust was in addressing community problems. Was there a specific moment that made you realize you couldn’t simply go back to your old life and that you wanted to dedicate more of yourself to the work you were already doing? 

Shereen 

During those two months that I was here in 2019, I was sort of doing two things. I was working on a sexual and reproductive health program, but really just on puberty in the schools. And I was then working with the girls in the boarding home.  

One group of girls in the Desert Primary Education Center, where it’s difficult to go to school, it’s unsafe to go from some places, you’ll see the girls have very short hair to look as if they were boys. There’s not a lot of good academic options out there, but there are a group of young girls who wanted more and their families wanted more for them.  

Girls’ education is traditionally not considered very important here for a lot of reasons. And boy children are definitely hoped for and wanted. There’s only 888 females for every 1,000 males. So that tells you something. And if you’re going to educate a child, it makes economic sense to educate a boy child who will stay with your family. A girl child when she gets married, moves to the in-laws.  

So all of these things come to education just not being a priority for girls. But this group of girls and their parents wanted more. And so, the idea came to have a boarding home in Jodhpur. So this group of eight and nine-year-old girls and their brave parents came to Jodhpur where they could go to a good school, where they could live in an environment that had safety, that had healthy food, that had everyday tutoring for the girls, where they could learn self-defense, where they could learn sewing, where they, and eventually, I mean, these things were not there at the beginning, right? Computer skills. And so, it came out of the primary education center realizing this group of girls had the ability and the support of their family to do that. And just to give another sense of how it holistically grows, the oldest girl there was Priya. And so, Priya graduated from secondary school, which is much more than anyone in their families had done, in most cases, boys or girls, and certainly not girls.  

And so, at the beginning of the boarding home, like maybe someone would graduate from 12th class. And Priya said, yeah, and now I’d like to go to college. So, as girls graduated, they set up another boarding home, which was for the college graduates and also girls who were young women now who were in graduate school. So, it all sort of grows that way. It all sort of comes from the needs of the people in the programs.  

Another example of that would be the gender-based violence program. And that comes about because women in the empowerment centers, one of the women that is still involved with Sambhali in the second center is facing domestic violence, and everyone supports her. But as it grows, to have a program that can be there with a lawyer, a psychologist, again, it comes from the women in the program and understanding what are their barriers and sort of one by one, building the program that can support that. 

Arielle 

Priya, who you were talking about, was she one of the girls in the boarding home when you were volunteering? 

Shereen 

Yeah, so Priya was at the boarding home when I was there. I was there the first year that she went to college. And so, they hadn’t set up a separate boarding home at that point, but it was just Priya.  

And then the next group of girls graduated. And what I think is amazing is we talk a lot here about the next generation, the daughters of these girls and how their lives can be different.  

But there’s two things going on. One is what these girls are able to accomplish, but also the impact they’re having. And we thought about that as the next generation, but it happened sooner. Now there are three boarding homes, two for elementary and secondary, and one for college. And I was sitting in the van with the youngest girls today. They were coming back from school, and the van had picked me up as well. And I said, What are you going to do when you graduate from 12th class? I’m going to college! What are you going to be? You know, I’m going to be this! I’m going to be that!  

What was not even thought about, now all the boarding home girls and the girls back in the community where they come from, their ambitions have changed. It didn’t even take a generation to start seeing that impact.  

One of the things I always think about is that pretty much everyone I talk to can tell you about the first person that went to college in their family. And often people can tell you about the first woman who went to college in their family and how that changed the generations. And so, it’s something I think most people, wherever they are, can relate to.  

My grandparents were all uneducated. My aunt went to college, and then my mother. And then in my generation, if I wanted to go to college, it was a given that I could. And that’s what you see happening once one girl, young woman, has been able to accomplish that much. And it’s… It’s fabulous to see it every day in these young women now, but also in the impact they’ve had on the next group of girls who are now coming up through the boarding homes. 

Arielle 

Yeah, the ones who can see themselves in the women who are following through with their education and finding jobs and being self-sufficient. It’s hard to achieve anything if you really can’t imagine yourself doing it. And it’s hard to imagine yourself doing it if you don’t see anyone like you who’s actually accomplishing what you want. 

Shereen 

I just wanted to jump off on that point because it’s something about Sambhali that I also just feel passionately about, is the number of students who have become teachers. And I think that fits in exactly with what you just said, seeing someone like you. And I was just counting up all of the people who began as students, either in the empowerment centers or as little girls who first went to the primary education center and then went to the boarding home and have college and graduate, and they’re now teaching, including someone who was in the first class, the empowerment center, who’s now in the central leadership staff. And I think that also is incredibly powerful to see someone who began as a student. And to me, nothing says you believe in your organization, your program more than hiring the people who come through it. It means you believe in the difference that you’re making. 

Arielle 

Yeah, that’s incredible. And such a full circle moment that you get to witness over and over again. Shereen, we had the opportunity to connect before recording, and there was something that we both touched on. While we love that there’s so many people out there who want to help communities in need, sometimes well-intentioned people can still cause unintentional harm in the long run, or even in the short term, if support is coming from someone who hasn’t taken the time to fully understand the problems they are trying to address. 

Shereen 

Yeah, so one of the things about having Western volunteers, the better you are as a volunteer coming in, I think into a culture that’s so different than yours, is the more you realize what you don’t know, and the more you… embrace learning and not thinking you know more… If you think you come in thinking you’re going to teach more than you learn, you’re probably wrong.  

You know, I’ll go back to my days at the boarding home. So, one of the things that I was tasked with doing were some workshops. And so, I approached it as, what kind of workshops would the girls be most interested in? And so, we all sat around and I said, Everybody give me ideas. And I wrote it all up on a whiteboard. And then I said, But let’s figure out which ones we should do. And we went to this voting system that I’d come up with where everybody could vote for whatever number. And the girls looked a little confused. And we went through the process.  

And then afterwards, I thought, why? Why did I think to impose that? Why didn’t I ask, how would you like to decide which ones we’ll do instead of just jumping into my way of doing it? So that’s something that I’ve kept to heart as I approach everything else that I do.  

You know, I think there’s a lot of ways that people from other cultures can mess things up. But I think in most cases, it comes from not appreciating what you don’t know. Even in sort of those minor things, you know, I would say the voting thing wasn’t a huge thing, but it showed an attitude that I needed to adjust a little bit.  

The girls certainly never complained and seemed to like the workshops, and we did one on electricity. My victory was a potato turned into a radio and no one died, so yeah. don’t ask a lawyer to do that sort of stuff.  

But I also have seen just great examples of people who’ve come here and volunteered and just bring their flexibility and their open mind and their open heart. And then whatever knowledge they have that can be helpful. And so that’s, of course, a very beautiful thing. 

Arielle (narrator) 

As Shereen said, one of the most powerful things she sees at Sambhali is the personal and professional growth of those who get involved. Rajshree Rathore is an example of exactly that. She joined Sambhali in 2018 as a tutor while she was still in college herself. Over the years, she took on more and more responsibility, and today fulfills a leadership role. She gives us an inside look at what keeps her motivated and how she returns to hope when the work gets challenging. Due to shaky internet connection, Rajshree and I had to get creative in order to record our conversation. You might notice a slight difference in sound quality because instead of recording live, we pivoted to voice notes. You might also hear children in the background. 

Rajshree 

Hi, my name is Rajshree Rathore, and I work at Sambhali as a head of educational services and volunteer coordinator. So, I work across education services, volunteer coordinator, donor communication, and fundraising. My role is to make sure our programs run smoothly and communicated clearly and honestly to our supporters. 

Arielle 

That sounds like quite the important role with a lot of responsibility. You began at Sambhali Trust not as Head of Education, but I believe as a tutor. Is that correct? 

Rajshree 

Yes, I started working as a tutor in one of the boarding homes in 2018. Just as I had started college myself, I was very young then learning how to balance my studies while teaching at the boarding homes. I still remember my fourth day clearly. The space was full of voices, girls talking, laughing, asking questions all at once. There was a lot of moment and energy, but also curiosity. Some of the girls were shy at first, others very confident. All of them are eager to learn in their own way. 

Arielle 

Quite a lively time for you being a student and a tutor at the same time. What does tutoring the girls or the community teach you that you wouldn’t have learned from training or a textbook? 

Rajshree 

Tutoring while being a student myself taught me discipline and responsibility very early on. I had to show up consistently, not just for myself, but for the girls who depend on that routine. The girls in the community taught me things that look simple in a textbook. Attention, participation, progress are deeply influenced by a child’s environment, a sense of safety. At Sambhali, education includes confidence, stability, and the ability to make informed choices. For many girls, learning is connected to have a safe environment, emotional support, and encouragement to ask questions. So, education makes it possible for them to continue their studies, delay early marriage, and imagine futures that were not previously accessible. 

Arielle 

Rajshree, you seem so put together. Your answers are so eloquent. They sound really thought out and very clear. But as you said, you also have a lot of responsibility. You are managing not just a classroom, but people and programs as a whole. So you’re obviously carrying a lot. Students’ hopes, there’s family pressures, there’s also systemic barriers. Where do you put it all? How do you deal with hard days? 

Rajshree 

So, I try not to carry everything at once. I focus on what is within my control and rely on the team rather than handling things alone. On difficult days, I step back, reflect, and remind myself that progress is gradual. And what brings me back to hope is seeing small, consistent change, students continuing their education, families slowly shifting their views, or a problem being resolved over time.  

One example that stays with me is of a girl who had been living in our boarding home since 2012. After completing the 10th grade, her family wanted her to get married due to social pressure, as the mother was widow, so she wanted her to get married after completing the 10th. She chose to delay her marriage and continue her education. She later completed her graduation and eventually got married by choice. At a time she felt ready. And another example is a girl who grew up in the boarding home and later returned as a tutor. That shift from receiving support to becoming part of the teaching team shows how small, consistent steps can lead to long-term change. There are many such examples, and they remind me that progress doesn’t have to be immediate to be meaningful. 

Arielle 

If every student who walks into your program could leave believing one sentence about themselves, what would you want that sentence to be? 

Rajshree 

I would want her to believe that she’s capable of making her own choices and building the life she wants. 

Arielle 

Thank you so much for taking the time. 

Rajshree 

I really appreciate the opportunity to share Sambhali’s work, and I’m grateful for the thoughtful questions. 

Arielle 

It’s been wonderful to talk to you. 

Rajshree 

It was wonderful speaking with you as well. I hope the conversation helps more people understand and connect with the work being done. Thank you again and have a lovely rest of your day. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Rajshree described wanting every student to leave believing she’s capable of making her own choices. Monica has been making choices against the grain since she was a teenager. She joined Sambhali at its very inception in 2006-2007. Who she was back then was a shy girl who always sat in the back of every room. She was quiet, she was young, and by the logic of her world, her path had already been decided for her.  

Arielle 

(fade in)… Can you share a little bit about your journey with Sambhali Trust? 

Monica 

Okay. So, first of all, my name is Monica. I’m 31 years old. And about Sambhali, Sambhali is like my new birth. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Monica’s story illustrates the complexities and obstacles girls and women often face when pursuing education and the chance to empower themselves, and how she, with the support of Sambhali Trust, rose above these challenges. 

Monica 

When I got about news for Sambhali, actually I got that news from my cousin who already joined on 2006 because I dropped my schooling and my one of the cousin asked my father, like, would you, would she? she will be go for Sambhali class because that is a new organization open where she can get education or maybe vocational training as well. My father said, okay, she can join it.  

I joined Sambhali just for the vocational training because on that time I’m very shy person and very like, you know, the person who’s sitting in back, who’s not coming in front. So I’m like that kind of person. I came in Sambhali first day like in 2007, in 2006, but Sambhali being like organization in 2007. So I came from first batch and like still I’m with them. So this is my journey with Sambhali.  

So I joined Sambhali and I learned how to do like education with the English because I’m coming from Hindi medium. English is very tough for me. When a volunteer gave a lessons, I took very fast. So that’s why Govind ji asked me, would you like to go school? He approached me for that. And I said, yes, of course. Like after six months, if you got this kind of opportunity, you got blessed.  

I called my father that someone give me a scholarship. So can I go school and all that? My father was, he was so happy. He said, yes, of course, because of the money problem, you never go to school. I think this is another chance to live your life. And I was like, okay. Then my father told my mother and my grandmother, but the ladies from the house, they said, no, no, no, no, don’t go to school. Learn your house working and told my father that search boy and get married, something like that.  

And I was like, what? And I run away like, on the roof and crying. And then my father came to me and he said, why you cry? I mean, I’m here. Why you cry? I give you a chance to go school and I never do whatever your mother and your grandmother want. And I say, okay, let’s see.  

Then Govind ji take me to every school, which is the best one. Finally, we found one of the school, which is very good for me because my mother and my grandmother, they’re mostly scared for like, oh, if she got education, she will run. So the family respect will be go down, something like that.  

So Govind, he said, okay, we only search those school, which is for the girls school, which is security and safety one also. And I said, okay, then I start my career, my one step from the house, my struggle life.  

So like I went to school from the 6th class again. When I was in 10th class, 10th class in India is very big, big challenge for you. So like 10th board exams and 12th board exam is very big over here. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Just as Monica was reaching this critical point in her academic career, she suffered another serious setback. 

Monica 

Before my exam, just one month before, my father was passed away. My moral support was broken. After like 15 or 16 days, I heard some whispering from the family side. My cousins, my aunties whispering in ears of my brother and my mother that now stop her and get married. And my brother said, yes, we will do this and that. And I heard that, which is very hurtful for me.  

And I again sitting and cry. My uncle came to me and he said, why you cry? And I said, my father just passed away. I have a exams and now I listen those kind of things from the house and he said okay you do your exam first practice your revisions and everything do your best exams if you passed then you can go ahead without fear and if you fail then do whatever they want to do and I said okay this is good options I have. 

Then I like woke up in the 3 o’clock when family was sleeping put ear buds and revisions, revisions, revisions. And then I got a good percentage from the 10th exam. 

Arielle (narrator) 

Even after earning high marks in her 10th exams, Monica’s family still pushed her to take her expected place within the household. 

Monica 

Then I came to Govind ji and I told him everything. He said, okay, tell your family that they have two options. One option is education and second option that you want to do some job. He said, go and just tell them. I said, okay.  

I told my family that you have two option, education or job. They said, okay, do a job if you want to do job and all that. Then I start with Sambhali boutique. I selling boutique products and all that. So I leave my house around nine o’clock in the morning and went seven o’clock in the evening. So my family said, this is very late. Why are you coming late and all that? This is part of my job. So what can I do?  

End of the month, one month when I done my job and everything like that, work in Booty, my family said, do your education, stop your job. I said, yeah, this is big opportunity for me. My planning with the Govind ji is successful now.  

I start again my education with 11th class and 12th class. In the 12th class, I got good marks. Like in India, when you got good marks, the government provide you money award and certificate as well. So in 12th class, again, I listened about my marriage and my family discussions. And I thought like, do whatever you want to do. I’m going to my educations. Wake up in the morning, do your breakfast, your own side, because nobody gives you breakfast because you’re going against them. So this is a very difficult time for me as well. 

Arielle 

I find it really interesting that Govind could come up with a compromise of either work or education. 

Monica 

Yes. 

Arielle 

And then they said, okay, you’re working too late. Let’s go with the education. But it was a way to keep you within the program, which… it’s an amazing way to navigate such difficult tensions between opportunity and tradition. 

Monica 

So, like whenever I cry and I feel afraid, he always said, just let it be. This time we’ll go. This time we’ll go. And like in 12th class when I passed my board exam, so government provide me one of the award, which is Gargi award. It’s like a certificate with the 5000 rupees. 

Arielle 

Oh, wow. 

Monica 

Govind ji told me, take your mother with you. I said, okay, I take my mother over there. And my mother was crying. And that time she was said, do whatever you want to do. I never stop you again.  

Arielle 

Wow! 

Monica 

Yeah, suddenly like that. Then uh Govind ji said what next I said next I was going to college University and also joined uh Hotel management in front office And then I was done my one year hotel management education and then six month industrial training as well.  

So like one and a half year diploma I was done. 

Then Govind ji has a like a guest house and he give me a chance to do job with the guest house, and I said, Obviously, yes, I don’t have father right now, and I’m not able to ask money for my family, but I need a job, so he said, Oh, don’t worry about this, we have a guest house, so you can work over here, and my mother likes sending me over here because she trusts with Govind ji.  

I was working with the guest house around five years as a duty manager. And with the Sambhalicrass, like after COVID, I joined Sambhali Trust because hotel life and everything was end in the COVID time. When I joined Sambhali Trust, the learning with earning process we have so I’m the person who’s going to Market take product and then making a decent like that so I will start with the market linkage then in that five years I grow and grow and grow so like after market linkage I grow as a volunteer coordinator and now I’m the part of the central central team. So, this is a big achievement for me in five years. 

Arielle 

Yeah, that’s an incredible achievement. And I’m also thinking back to when you said, when you first started with Sambhali, that you were the type of girl who would always sit in the back, who did not speak out very much, who was not very confident. But the woman that I’m talking to today sounds extremely confident. She sounds like she has really advocated for herself in the face of many tensions with family and culture. 

Monica 

And you know what? Like before, the girl who’s always backside, who’s not coming in front side. Now, whenever something happened, like with the women or something, I’m always in front. Even the man from over here, they also afraid of me. Some call me devil as well. 

Arielle 

Oh, they fear you. They respect you. 

Monica 

Yeah, they respect me, but they afraid me also. 

Arielle 

That’s a good combination (laughs)! When did this shift begin to happen? 

Monica 

So, like after my father, there is no one behind me in the family. So, I know I’m only a lone person who’s doing my own standing steps.  

After my father, I’m the person who’s doing everything.  

I mean, those people who are trying to stop me, like my uncle, auntie and all that, nowadays, their children don’t listen to them. So, they call me, can you please come home and try to give them some words because they don’t listen to us. And I went over there and I talked to their children about this and that. And they always like, we proud of you. Because you’re a girl, you’re taking your house responsibility, you’re taking your job responsibility, you’re doing education. And look, my sons are not doing anything. And this is like proud moment for me. Like those people who tried to stop you, now they give you like, oh, wow, what are your achievement!  

My family, before they feed me, nowadays, I feed them. 

Arielle (narrator) 

I’ve been sitting with these four stories, and I keep coming back to one idea. 

Govind didn’t set out to reach 80,000 people. He invited two girls to come learn with him. The next day, 18 women showed up. The girls in the first boarding home graduated from secondary school, and then one of them said she wanted to go to college — so they built another boarding home for that. Those graduates started coming back as teachers. Monica joined in 2007 as a teenager sitting in the back of the room. She is now central staff. The relatives who tried to stop her are now calling her up to help with their own kids. 

To echo Shereen, it didn’t even take a generation. 

I think about that whenever the scale of a problem feels overwhelming. You don’t have to solve everything. You just have to do the one thing in front of you and give the people closest to the problem the space and resources to take it from there. 

There’s something else I can’t stop thinking about. What Sambhali is building is a generation of role models. This is not some distant future, this is right now. The youngest girls in those boarding homes are already aspiring to go to college. That’s new. That’s the work. 

If today moved you, here’s what you can do. Visit sambhalius.org — that’s S-A-M-B-H-A-L-I-U-S dot org — to donate, volunteer, or sign up for their newsletter to keep following these stories. You can also reach Shereen directly at info@sambhalius.org.  

And a note on timing: Sambhali US has been significantly impacted by recent USAID funding losses, which means grassroots support and individual donors have never been more critical. If this resonated, now is a good moment to act on that. 

The entire Optimist Daily team is deeply, deeply grateful to Govind, Shereen, Rajshree, and Monica for giving us their time and their voices. They’ve already shared so much wisdom, but to wrap this all up, we had one last question for all of them. 

Shereen 

The best advice I’ve ever received is don’t give advice unless asked for it. I was given that advice in the context of being about to become a grandmother, but it applies throughout because advice when asked for is great, and advice when not wanted is useless and annoying. So yes. 

Rajshree 

The best advice I’ve received is to focus on consistency rather than perfection. Showing up regularly and doing the work, even on ordinary days, creates real change over time. 

Monica 

Do work. Don’t take a dreams because dreams after when you wake up, it’s gone. But when you do work, it’s always with you. 

Govind 

The best advice I was ever given was a guru of mine, and she’s an Austrian woman, and she’s always told me, Govind, follow the KISS formula.  

And I said, do you want me to go and start kissing people on their cheeks? And she’s like, no, follow the KISS formula by keeping it simple and silly. I keep that formula in my head. I keep it very simple and everything does not need to be perfect. And this is what my guru taught me. Follow the KISS formula, keep it simple and silly. And that’s what brought us where we are (gentle laughter) Yes. Thank you. 

Arielle 

All right, Optimists, if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much.  

Guest interviews are new territory for us, and we genuinely want to get better at them. But if you liked it, please share it with someone, but if you liked it, then please share it with someone who you think will like it too. On that note, if you have feedback, questions, or a suggestion for who we should speak to next, email us at podcast@optimistdaily.com or find us on socials. We’re @OptimistDaily on most platforms and @OdeToOptimism on X. All the links mentioned today are in the show notes. 

Karissa and I will be back next week. Enjoy your weekend, and happy International Women’s Day. Bye!