Today’s Solutions: May 16, 2022

Here at The Optimist Daily, we are all about empowerment. Whether it’s through societal, financial, or physical means, hearing these stories are important to inspire our own.

That is why this Valentine’s Week, we wanted to share with you this interesting take on sexual empowerment and the concept of virginity.

The problem with virginity

The concept of virginity is deeply ingrained in our society. The weighted word is commonly used to describe the sexual status of people who have not yet had intercourse. Many would argue that this concept throughout history has been used to control and shame people, especially women.

What makes this issue worse is the complex and double-sided spectrum of virginity shaming. Women and girls are regularly slut shamed if they “lose” their virginity too early or explore sex with multiple partners, while men are often lauded for sleeping around.

If women wait too long to have sex or don’t give their partner what they are asking for, they are a “prude” or a “tease”. While a man who is a virgin for too long may be shamed for not being “manly” enough. Reaching sexual maturity is hard enough without all of this nonsense!

What can we teach the next generation?

The writer Cayce LaCorte, who has recently gone viral on TikTok, has had enough of these damaging mind games. She has decided to flip the script and teaches her daughters an unconventional way to think about virginity.

She argues the concept of virginity is an outdated, patriarchal, control mechanism, which only serves as a way to make women feel bad about themselves. She urges that her views are not undermining the importance of sex and just wants to build our girls up instead of tearing them down with insecurity.

LaCorte wants to sever the untrue connection that your virginity status has anything to do with moral character. “I’m raising them to be good people and have solid foundations and make their own choices and make intelligent choices,” she states.

After watching the video, many people realized the truth about LaCorte’s words. “I have two girls, and I think this is how I will teach them when they are older. This would have made me feel more self-worth when I was younger,” a TikTok user commented.

Sex is a complex subject that everyone should be able to approach in whichever way they feel comfortable. It seems a good sex education that dismisses the term “virginity” could lead to healthier outlooks on what sex really means, removing pressure and insecurity for young people. Whether your first time is in your late teens, in your 30s, or maybe not at all. The choice should be yours, not societies.

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